Saturday, October 24, 2009

home sweet saturday

I am having the happiest day in quite awhile. It's Saturday and we have nothing planned. I have spent the day enjoying Ramona and enjoying my home. I get a lot of pleasure doing house work type stuff on Saturday. These same chores on Wednesdays fill me with dread and grumpiness. Having the time to attend to these tasks that have been staring at me and mocking me during the work week is a relief.

I used to think a lot about who has it hardest; the working mom, the stay at home mom, the work from home mom, the part time work mom. Who has the crappy end of the stick? Thanks to the internet I know this is a silly line of thinking. Moms have it hard. Reading the daily accounts of moms everywhere is an unbelievable relief to me. Recently I was reading about the guilt that a stay at home mom has to deal with. Another mom wrote about the economic hardships of having one income. A friend was telling me that she has been working six days a week and that she misses her little girl dearly.

Bless every mom who is telling her story, because I live on these words.

Today, I am having a day of rest and organization. I am indulging in laundry and the dirty diapers I always miss. I am catching up on my writing. I am playing with my Ramona. Monday I will be back to my job that is wringing my heart out. But I won't feel sorry, because I am thankful for this job. I am thankful for the money. I am thankful for the work I do and the grownups conversation I get to enjoy. I am thankful for the exact life that I am living.

I am dedicating the merit of this day to a fellow dharma student who took her own life on Thursday. I can't imagine the sadness she must have been carrying in her heart. My practice this week is to do tonglen for her and for her two young children. This week, pray for mothers, please.

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