I don't have a Masters degree. I have an almost Masters degree.
I had a personal renaissance when I began graduate school that I look back on fondly, but the culmination of the program was writing a thesis. I love writing, but I don't love writing this thesis. This probably means I picked the wrong topic, but there is nothing I can do about this now. It's something like, Teaching Information Literacy to Young Children Using Research Based Early Childhood Principals. I have written one chapter and collected the research. I have two more chapters to write. I don't actually believe that I will EVER do this. I turned in the chapter a few weeks before Ramona was born and the plan was to not think about it again until I went back to work in the fall. Here it is October and I dread looking at my university e-mail. I dread turning my attention back to this darn paper.
My attention is directed at my family and my work. I am already a librarian and I don't believe that writing this paper will make me better at my work. Finishing up my Masters will give me a hardly noticeable pay raise. As a working mom I have very little time at home with my baby. When I get home, everything stops and I play with her, feed her, care for her, love her. When she goes to bed I spend time resting and being with my husband. I don't want to write this paper.
I feel overwhelmed by the stupidity of getting this close to getting a Masters degree and then wimping out. It is insane to spend all that money and get that close and not finish the degree. It would be one thing if I was half finished. But I'm not, I'm about 20 pages (and some long edits) away from being done.
Just write the paper, you say??? Oh really, so simple. Why didn't I think of that??
It is so simple. So very simple. Write the paper....write the paper....write the paper.
This is the last time I will speak of this until I actually buckle down and get started with the writing. If you don't hear about it again, it's because I'm a massive loser.
You can do it! Go Nova, Go!!!!
ReplyDeleteThis has nothing to do with the paper, which you can do whenever and if ever you like. It is perhaps because you realize that research means piddle in the life of a certain child, and the life of all children everywhere. You suddenly grasp the meaning of life every time you come home.
ReplyDeleteSetting something aside doesn't mean you'll never pick it up.
Nova,
ReplyDeleteYou will finish this... I truly believe this. When you do you will strut and be so happy. You will feel like you are walking on air. If there is anyway I can help you, I would totally take that baby for a day. LOL.. Please feel free to use me to bounce ideas off of.
Thank you, Bambi.I think I need a behavior chart with stickers and stuff.
ReplyDeleteAyeee..... my god woman pull yourself together. Must I be the clarion voice of authentic Galt-ish wisdom around here. You have never had the spine to like lead a nation to war, and frankly not many people do. But If I had known you were wallowing in your procrastination I would have come after you alot sooner then this. Clearly I have some serious harping to do. Nova, Im on the cups of being a better student then you. Doesnt that frighten you a little?
ReplyDeleteZach, I'm glad to provide you with some kind of source of superiority over me. Would you be willing to write my paper for money? I would pay you the going rate, whatever that may be. Did you read that Dr.Robbins?!! Did you read that? (Actually I have considered sending her my blog link so that she could put a soul with a name. and know that I have a good heart, I just don't want to write the darn paper.)
ReplyDelete