Saturday, March 31, 2012

as evening fell, we cleared the already clean air

Last night I came home so tired. I taught nine classes and then stayed late moving piles of books around. My plan was to come home and pass out, but when I walked  in the door my sweet family breathed new life into me. We celebrated our Friday by going out for hamburgers and ice cream. Ramona showed us how she can ride her bike with the training wheels and then Brian and I sat in the back and watched her pick flowers and talk to a caterpillar.

I put my arms around Brian. "People are getting my blog posts about you wrong. My mom is worried about us. She's worried about me", I fret. 

He said, "I know the difference between you just being yourself and you trying to hurt me. I know you love me.

And I relaxed. And enjoyed the light and the air and our sweet little girl. Because he trusts my heart. So I can too.

Writing it while it happens opens you up to disaster. This life made of loving people has so many folds to it. I think I don't want to get it wrong, but more than that I want to feel the entire thing with my heart. I don't want to be afraid. Afraid you will get me wrong. 


  1. I loved the post you wrote about Brian. I loved it because you said "it's something else." You wrote that you need a little excitement, a little fun but Brian keeps bringing you back; he's what your heart wants. Anyway, that's what I got from it. Maybe it's me that feels that way, but I knew love was what you were writing about.

  2. That's interesting... because I totally got your post. I'm not sure I'd read your blog unless I 'got it'.

    Funny enough, it spoke to me how strong you guys are... that you can express the crazy that goes on in your head (all of our heads) and it will be taken exactly was it was meant to be. it is refreshing, beautiful and full of honest and real love.

    Hope all is going well as you get ready for that little boy. :O)

  3. Lindsay, you always get me.

    Dana, isn't it weird that people are so afraid of talking about marriage? No wonder so many end in divorce. This superstitious need to never mention any unhappiness or displeasure in marriage to the outside world. Like maybe it is treason. No wonder divorces seem like they come out of nowhere and everyone is shocked.

  4. Wow Nova - you just described my childhood. No talk, no talk, no longer in the room together, still no talk, no talk to each other, no talk to the kids, its all over, don't ever talk about it. BOO.

    Life is real. Funny enough, humans all go through essentially the same emotions. So why can't we talk about them? Yes, we can keep some things to ourselves as 'ours'... but we shouldn't keep so much of what's real to ourselves that we don't know what it is anymore. So much that the people who should know us the best don't get to know us at all... That is when it all goes wrong. That is when the simplest of things suprise you to no end.

    Great original post. Perfect follow up. Now I need to read your newest one ;O)

  5. Dana, mine too. It is not surprising that my mom was the most upset about my post. But she was not the only one...