to my sweet boy on his third birthday

"Love that boy,
like a rabbit loves to run
I said I love that boy
like a rabbit loves to run
Love to call him in the morning
love to call him
"Hey there, son!"

from the poem, Love That Boy by Walter Dean Myers. I love this poem. To love a boy, is not hard. Not hard at all. 

A good friend and her new baby came to visit. Afterward, she reflected that Woody gave her son something to aspire to; to play with trains and jump off things. His two favorite things. Also fishing from the couch.

Woody's speech delights me. Sparse, but technical. Sometimes, mostly while riding in the car, he will ramble about what the cars are doing and what parts they have, ending with a Larry The Cable Guy-sounding, "See......I told 'ja."

He loves to listen to stories. He will listen to as many as I will read. We read The Little Engine That Could. "I BINK I can, I BINK I can."

Elwood, I love you just as you are. And I'm willing to see where this life is going to take us. Happy third birthday, Baby. 

Love,

Mom

now she is six

Our neighbor recently gave Ramona some seashells, leftover from a renovation project. An abundance of shells. Ramona really wanted to take a shell to school to give to a friend, but her teacher said she had to bring a shell for everyone. Which was better yet, in Ramona's mind. So, Ramona told me about this golden opportunity, and I was really put off. I thought it would be annoying to the teacher, and it wasn't like we got them on vacation or anything. They were just glued to some baseboards in our neighbor's house. So I distracted her from the idea. I will talk to your teacher, I tell her. I will ask her about the shells. Except, Ramona insists, it's totally fine with the teacher. This goes on.

Until one evening, Ramona pulls an empty baggie from her backpack, and tells me she took shells to her class today, and it was fine with her teacher, but I just wouldn't listen to her so she just did it.

***

Today is Ramona's birthday, she is 6 years old. For her birthday she wanted Care Bears. Big and small, soft stuffed colorful bears. She wants "the whole collection." On the way home from her birthday evening at the park, she tells Brian and me that a girl at school said Care Bears were for babies. And Ramona tells her,

"That is an opinion."

***

Happy Birthday, Ramona. This is the life we are spending together. I love it.

Love,
Mom

The First Two Years: Happy Birthday, Elwood

Unsure of how I wanted to say Happy Birthday to Elwood, I found myself searching around my unpublished posts and found this, written when Elwood was a tiny baby:

Elwood,you are just a few weeks old. Such a short time to know you. We haven't scratched the surface on you. You are hardly a thing. Your demands are small, Sweet Elwood. Giving birth to you was easy. Loving you is easy.

I prepared for you differently than your sister. I was depressed and anxious after she was born. I was in a lot of secret pain. While waiting for you, Elwood, I was afraid. Scared to feel the same way, afraid to feel worse.
But when you were born all I was left with was you. 

With your sweet, fuzzy head. Your squeaky cry. Your peaceful face. And this new beginning for our family. Holding you near my heart, you are a balm. In the wake of you, I don't worry about money or how much tv your sister is watching. I don't worry about SIDS. I don't worry.

At dawn you cry. I gather you from the bassinet by the bed and hold you in my arms. Our faces close, we sleep.

Our picture was taken. And I see my tiredness, my slight sadness sitting lightly on top of everything. I see me not trying to hide anything. I see me loving you. I see me holding you, holding what I have. 


Dear sweet Elwood Woody Ellie WooWoo, you sweet boy who passes out kisses and hugs, Happy Birthday. What on earth did we do to deserve each other?

To Ramona on her 5th Birthday

Happy Birthday, Beautiful. Love, Mom

“Nothing

would be
easier without
you,
because you
are 
everything,
all of it-
sprinkles, quarks, giant
donuts, eggs sunny-side up-
you
are the ever-expanding
universe
to me.” 
― Kate DiCamillo, Flora and Ulysses: The Illuminated Adventures

What to do when

It's really hard to make stuff happen sometimes. I'm not the only person who's ever been there, but it's just the worst anyway. 

you know what they say...a day without book shelving is a day without reading. 

John the Rabbit

Watching rabbits hopping around my garden this morning. It's a love/hate kind of thing I've got going with them. 

"And if I live

to see next fall

I won't plant a garden at all"

- traditional African American folk song

close to two

My sweetheart Elwood (who sometimes goes by Woody, but really likes being called Ellie) is getting so close to being two years old.